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Post by Killer on Jun 11, 2003 23:21:30 GMT -5
In the late hours of evening, after everyone else has retired for the night, Killer remains alone with his thoughts--thoughts that wander whether he wants them to or not. Putting away plates and glasses behind the bar, he finds himself thinking about the bad things he's done and realizes his life is more than half over and with nothing but crime and a bad reputation to show for it.
As that sad fact hits him full force, he accidentally drops the glass he was drying and it shatters on the floor. The sound bringing him back to his present task, he stoops to pick up the scattered glass fragments and put them in the garbage--yet another mess Carface can bust him up for tomorrow.
"Ow!" he yelps softly, wincing as he glances down at his paw, now stained by a small stream of blood running from the "palm" pad, "Lovely."
He runs his paw under the faucet quickly, then finishes picking up the glass. Once that's done, he decides to leave the casino for a late-night walk and time to think without that event becoming dangerous to himself or someone else. He limps on his injured forepaw which is still bleeding, ignoring the sting as his mind runs wild beyond the stars.
He finally comes to stop to rest in a lonely alleyway, where his eyes drift upward to the sparkling skies, his expression sad and seemingly lost, seeking answers. How can he possibly redeem himself after all the crimes he's been involved in? He's certain his afterlife is destined to be just as bad--if not worse--than his earthly life.
"Is there a Heaven for me?" he whispers skyward, "A place I won't be hungry...or cold...or in pain...or afraid?"
He doesn't expect an answer, knowing he's not worthy of one anyway--especially an answer from the place to which he directed his question. He lowers his head and sits slumped in the middle of the alley, staring absently at his bleeding paw as his thoughts wander elsewhere.
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Post by Hedge on Jun 12, 2003 6:19:42 GMT -5
Unable to sleep, Hedge was out walking, enjoying the solitude and silence after the craziness in the casino that evening... she pauses and sniffs the pavement, picking up the slight scent of blood... and Killer... she then sniffs the air and follows her nose, arriving in a deserted alley just in time to overhear Killer's question towards heaven... she sits down quietly in the shadows, unsure as to whether she should interrupt him, as obviously he has come out here to be alone...
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Post by Killer on Jun 16, 2003 21:44:07 GMT -5
Killer jumps and his ears tilt back as he senses someone else's presence. Looking over his shoulder, he is relieved to see it's a friend in the shadows behind him. Trying to mask his troubled state and wounded paw, he turns to face her with the most realistic grin he can paste on and firmly plants his forepaw on the ground as though nothing is wrong with it.
"Hi Hedge, uh..." he hesitates a moment, listening to his own voice and realizing it could be a dead give-away that something's not right, "W-what're you doing out here at this hour?"
To spice up his everything-is-perfectly-fine act, he wags his tail briskly to accompany the forced grin. He's trying desperately not to pull faces as he can literally feel the dirt from the pavement biting into the cut on his paw pad.
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Post by Hedge on Jun 17, 2003 9:51:59 GMT -5
Smiles at Killer... "I could ask you the same thing..."
Pauses... "Who are you talking to?"
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Post by Killer on Jun 17, 2003 21:17:04 GMT -5
Killer is about to make some lame excuse as to what he's doing out on the streets after midnight, but Hedge's next question gives him something else to grope for a logical reply to respond with.
"Oh, I was...uh...oh...um...well, I was talking to, uh..." he hesitates, then a lightbulb goes on, "Myself...?"
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Post by Hedge on Jun 20, 2003 5:07:47 GMT -5
Hedge smiled to herself...
"Yourself, huh? Well, that's not so bad... I talk to myself occasionally, too... Sometimes things make sense when I talk out loud to myself..."
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Post by Killer on Jun 20, 2003 23:28:16 GMT -5
Killer absently tugs at his collar, looking a bit uncomfortable--or perhaps torn. He tries to carry things on the lightest note possible.
"Yeah, I guess so," he forces a lopsided grin, "But when I...uh...ask myself questions...I always get the same answer, y'know?"
Killer drops his head and heaves a sigh of defeat, knowing he really doesn't have the inner strength to keep his troubled thoughts to himself--especially when someone like Hedge just might be able to help him find answers.
"Hedge...y-you believe in life after death, right?" he speaks cautiously, lifting his injured paw off the ground again as the sting becomes too much to bear, "W-what d'you think happens to...to dogs when they...y'know...die?"
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Post by Hedge on Jun 22, 2003 9:06:45 GMT -5
Hedge tilts her head and wrinkles crease her brow as she realizes that Killer keeps lifting a paw as tho' in pain... she then remembers the scent of blood she picked up...
"Killer, what happened to your paw? Let me see it..." Hedge advances towards Killer, concern etched all over her face... then, as tho' it was an afterthought she begins to answer his question... "Yes, Killer, I believe there is life after death..."
Pauses as she takes his paw carefully in hers and gently turns it over to reveal a deep gash in his pad...
"Oh Killer, we need to take care of this... we can still talk, but this needs medical attention..."
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Post by Killer on Jun 22, 2003 21:51:59 GMT -5
Killer puts his paw back down and scuffles it a bit, trying to prove nothing is wrong, though he's only getting more dirt in the wound. He tries to keep his paw down when Hedge takes it in her own.
"Oh, uh...it's nothing, Hedge. Really, it's...nothin'," he forces a grin as Hedge sees right through his pathetic attempt at lying, then looks intently at Hedge as she answers his question, "What about...bad dogs...like me? What happens to them when they die?"
He shudders and recoils as Hedge speaks her deep concern for the cut in his paw. He shakes his head, stubbornly trying to pull away.
"Medical attention?" he repeats, "As in...a vet? Uh-uh...N-no way. I can't do that, Hedge. Humans--especially the kind that dabble in medical research--are pure evil."
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Post by Hedge on Jun 25, 2003 10:01:43 GMT -5
"No, silly, not a vet... come on... we'll go back to the casino and I'll get the first aid kit... we need to get this cleaned up so it doesn't get infection... then we'll see what else I can do..."
"And Killer... you aren't a bad dog... you've had alot of bad things happen to you... you've made some bad choices, but you did that in order to survive... there's a purpose for your life... and like I've told you before, I've seen dogs who've done worse than you make a complete change in their lives... and you know what?" *Pauses* "If I had been through what you've been through, I probably would have made the same choices you've made..." Squints her eyes to look as evil as she can... "Maybe worse!"
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Post by Killer on Jun 25, 2003 23:35:03 GMT -5
Killer relaxes as Hedge eases his mind about getting medical care for his paw and he rises to limp back to the casino with her. Knowing he doesn't have to tangle with humans is a comfort, but he still wonders what sort of fate awaits him after this life.
"So...you think that...maybe there is a Heaven for me?" he asks slowly, doubtfully shaking his head, "I don't deserve it. Hedge, I helped kidnap, steal, murder--all kinds of stuff. I even bit a human more than once and...I've heard that that's an unpardonable crime for a dog to commit. Dogs are s'posed to submit to people--no questions asked. I broke that rule over and over again..."
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Post by Hedge on Jun 26, 2003 13:03:01 GMT -5
Talking as they go, Hedge tries to reassure Killer that there IS a heaven for him... He's no better or worse than any other dog...
"Charlie did some really bad things... he deceived AnnMarie... almost got her killed... and she's a little girl... My young master's father used to say that the bible says, "Suffer the little ones to come unto me and forbid them not..." He also used to tell his son, my master, that a righteous man should have mercy on his beasts... and I believe that to mean no cruel and inhumane treatment... research labs in and of themselves aren't bad... it's the human beings who are callous, sadistic and cruel who don't care about pain and suffering... the cries of our dog friends doesn't affect them... and Killer, it's natural to bite when your very life is threatened..."
Looks sympathetically at her friend...
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Post by Killer on Jun 26, 2003 22:37:48 GMT -5
Killer nods, familiar with those two sayings and the Bible. He'd stumbled upon one once in his younger days and had clung to a few passages during the long, weary, pain-filled days of his life in the research lab.
"I didn't do it just once though," he replies quietly, "And I bit more than one person...and what did it get me? Only what I deserved, I suppose...what a bad dog deserves. It didn't get me out of the lab and it didn't scare 'em enough to make 'em leave me alone. I eventually gave up, but...now that I think about it...I never should have tried to defend myself at all. Humans are the dominant creatures of this world...I just wonder if it's the same way in Heaven. If it is...what's the point in going there?"
The question is whispered, as though he's ashamed to even allow such a thought to enter his mind, let alone speak it. He avoids looking at Hedge, fearing her reaction to such a question.
"I don't trust humans, Hedge," he continues softly, "I guess I am a coward, but...I'm afraid of humans. How can you trust a creature that can be so...two-faced? If humans are part of Heaven, I dunno...I...I don't think there is a Heaven for me. Humans and I...just don't mix."
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Post by Hedge on Jul 2, 2003 7:26:46 GMT -5
Hedge puts both paws on Killer's shoulders... "Look at me, Killer. You've got to stop tormenting yourself... you've been tormented too much in the past... you need to move on... let go of the past... the demons... the pain... so, you've done things that you regret... we all have... and NOT ALL HUMANS ARE BAD... and someday, we'll find somebody who's gonna love us..."
Pauses a moment, hoping Killer will let it sink in...
"And as for heaven? My young master's father used to say that in heaven there will be no more pain... the lion will lie down with the lamb... there are streets of gold... no more wars, or fighting, and especially, no more evil... and no more crying... for anyone... God will wipe all the tears from the eyes... and perhaps he'll use us dogs to do it..."
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Post by Killer on Jul 2, 2003 22:35:45 GMT -5
Killer looks into Hedge's eyes only because she told him to, otherwise, he's too ashamed to make eye contact with her. Naturally, he'll do what he's told as Carface has more or less "programmed" him to do so.
"Nah," he sighs in response to her first statement, "Even if there are kind humans out there, nobody would want me. Humans go for puppies and young dogs--cute and potential. I'm too old to be either."
He looks down at his injured paw, pretending to be studying it in a preoccupied way as Hedge continues. From the way she describes Heaven, it seems to good to be true...to hard for a realist to grasp--except for the human presence part.
"Well, what if the cruel humans from that...that...place are in Heaven?" he asks, sounding bitter, "I don't wanna see them ever again. Humans like that don't cry anyway. They aren't capable of feeling pain...only capable of dealing it out."
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